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Pastor Training Video: Pastors and Counselors on a Team

In the Church Therapy model, pastors and counselors work closely together on a team. While there are many forms of Christian counseling, this model emphasizes that multiple people in differing roles can work towards common goals, providing a strong healing affect.

In the Church as a whole, pastors and counselors have sometimes been at odds, with pastors feeling that counselors may lead parishioners astray and counselors feeling that pastors may be too heavy-handed or insensitive.

In this Pastor Training Video, I explain how our different roles serve important purposes when we work together.

Enjoy and thanks for watching!

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2017 Freedom Workshops

Join me in Lynn, Massachusetts for 4 dynamic workshops this year! Coming in March, “Understanding Mental Illness” — a must for all Christians as we need to be ready to respond well to those who suffer in our midst. Our June workshop will feature great content on communication and conflict resolution and in September we will explore how to deal with regret and shame. We’ll wrap it up in November with some helpful tools for managing life, incorporating information from my book “Getting Your Life Under Control.”

Please share this post to spread the word!

Tickets and special online savings can be found at mkt.com/freedomworkshops or you can Like us on Facebook!freedom-workshops-2017-frontfreedom-workshops-2017-back

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Love

Our final week of Advent anticipation focuses on the greatest of all eternal things: Love. Perhaps the most backwards concept in our society, love in God’s kingdom is something that is described as a definition of God Himself. God is love. Not God has love, not God is loving, but God is the very definition of love.

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On earth we think of love as something we give. In God’s kingdom love is something He is. We think of love as something that makes us feel good. In God’s kingdom the spirit opposes the flesh and conquers sin through sacrifice. We think of love as something you fall into. In God’s kingdom love is something you enter into intentionally.

This Christmas, what does it mean for us to love? First, let us embody love as God does. Let’s not just do “random acts of kindness” or loving things, but rather may love pour out of us continually as a definition of our character. Second, let us love in ways that do not bring comfort to our own flesh. When it’s hard, we love. When it requires sacrifice, we love. When it means we put ourselves last, we love. When what we want conflicts with what would protect another person, we set our selfishness and pride aside. Humility is required for this kind of love. And this must be cultivated and matured. One cannot “fall into” this love any more than one can get in shape accidentally. Real love requires continual training and refining of our inner lives through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said to love your enemies. Jesus gave up a position of power to be made weak. Jesus poured into a man he knew would eventually betray him. Jesus restrained his tongue when false accusations were thrown at him. Jesus resisted temptation and got to the very end of Himself when in His hour of deepest need His Father no longer seemed present. Forsaken, despised, rejected. Only in God’s kingdom is love possible in such circumstances. In the coming year may each one of us be stretched to love farther than we have ever loved before.

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Joy

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? If not, you absolutely must watch it immediately after reading this post. The movie is brilliant in capturing what is going on inside the human mind. A main character is Joy, who acts as a leader among all of the emotion characters. There has never been a more accurate depiction of my inner life than in the character of Joy. She is fiercely determined to maintain her optimism and the harmony of the group. She has endless positive energy (though this is tested in the challenges she faces) and others look to her when decisions need to be made.

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As much as I love that movie, I have to pause to ask myself, “Is that what the Bible means by joy?” Certainly we know that joy is not the same as happiness… In James 1 we are told to “consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds…” Few of us would be happy under challenging circumstances, but we can have joy. Just as we discussed last week regarding peace, joy is a product of the Spirit and not something we can achieve ourselves. Valuing what God values in his kingdom will determine whether or not you can connect with joy — things like suffering and hardship are seen as valuable gifts in the life of a Christ follower.

So what is this joy to which we can connect this Advent? If it is perhaps not quite energetic optimism and it isn’t happiness, what is it? I would define joy as an attachment to long-term hope. Regardless of my circumstance right now, God is still good. He will overcome in the end. He will guide me and mold me into his likeness if I allow him to. I do not think joy has to be expressed with energy or extroversion, though this is often the assumption. Perhaps true joy is something that cannot be expressed and is most keenly experienced in intimacy with the Spirit. Like a quick glance between friends, when a look is reassuring and confident all by itself, joy is the experience of the Spirit giving us a wink. “Just watch what I’m going to do with this one…” his presence assures us. Confidence in God’s strategy that works all things out for our good… Christmas reminds us that God has always had great and surprising plans up his sleeve and he always will. In this Advent season, no matter what you are going through, I encourage you to watch and wait with joyful anticipation as his plan unfolds.

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Peace

As we continue to reflect this Advent season, the concept of “peace” is one that has tremendous significance in the conversation about mental illness. Anxiety and peace are often seen in opposition. Those who experience symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, Major Depression or Schizophrenia may also seem to lack peace. So is peace a feeling or perhaps something much more?

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Peace is listed in the Bible as evidence of the Holy Spirit (called the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5). Therefore we can conclude that peace is not a feeling, as feelings are temporary and affected by a lot of environmental and biological factors. Peace is not something that stems from deep inside ourselves nor is it an earthly phenomenon. True peace can only be manifest when the Holy Spirit is at work in a person’s life.

Philippians 4:7 talks about the “peace that passes understanding,” or as I have often suggested to my clients, “peace that doesn’t make any sense.” This supernatural peace extends far beyond a flimsy feeling. Rather it is a direct outpouring of God in the midst of circumstances or disorders that come with worry, fear or anxiety.

Think of peace like a room. You can enter into it when you make a decision to seek it. It is outside yourself and is much more of a place than a feeling. God offers us ways to partake of his peace through holding on to the truth of his Word, or encountering his Spirit in prayer. This place we enter is not of ourselves, and thus it can be accessed by anyone. It does not depend on our ability to achieve it. Peace is simply a gift from God that comes when we begin to grasp the idea that he is so much bigger than us and he loves us greatly.

This Advent season, take a moment to reflect on peace. Is it a room you can enter today? Consider it an alternative to the Hectic Room or the Conflict Room. No matter your struggle, symptom or circumstance, pause to enter the place of peace.

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Hope

As we begin Advent, I consider the themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. Each week of Advent I will post a brief devotional thought connecting the struggles of emotional/mental health with one of these themes.

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Psalm 119:147 (NLT) – “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.”

Have you ever experienced a season in which your life sounds like this verse? You wake while it is still dark, you are in desperate need of help before the day even begins, and the only thing you have left is some flickering hope that maybe God will come through on what He has said He will do. For some, these struggles last for more than just a season, and it is in this wrestling that we truly understand hope.

Hope is not a feeling. When we mistakenly treat it like a feeling, we rely on the wrong things to make us feel better. Hope is an attachment to something outside yourself that is bigger than you. Hope is a belief that something might get better someday. Hope is the idea that today’s struggle is not the end of your story.

This week as we begin Advent, take a moment to reflect on what brings you hope. Is there anything you cling to in the midst of pain and struggle that keeps you in the fight? We know that one symptom of depression is hopelessness — when the depth of darkness is so severe that you have no strength left to cling to anything. If that is your experience, please reach out to a professional counselor for help. These symptoms are treatable and can get better with guidance, self-care and sometimes medication. New Life Ministries (1-800-NEW-LIFE) keeps a national list of Christian counselors and may be a helpful starting point. At times I tell my clients that when they are unable to carry hope for themselves, I will carry it awhile for them. May we all as Christian brothers and sisters extend this grace to each other daily.

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Counsel Vs. Therapy

I have frequently heard pastors and lay leaders in the Church assert that it is the role of everyone in the Church to provide counsel. Christians cite verses that describe “godly counsel,” such as Psalm 37:30 (“The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong”) and Proverbs 27:9 (“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense”) in supporting their notion.

When I recently saw a tweet that again made the statement that all in the Church should provide counsel, it reminded me of what many in the biblical counseling movement have said about pastors and their competence to counsel. These verses suggest that godliness is the fundamental requirement for becoming someone who can provide wise and helpful counsel.

Note that I have not yet used the term “counseling” and I have certainly not used the term “therapy.” Why? Because these terms refer to specific treatments provided in mental health situations. And it is simply not the same thing as godly counsel.

Allow me to define some terms. “Counsel” is often referred to in the Bible as “advice.” Certainly there is a sense that wisdom and godliness provide a Christian with some discernment in a variety of situations. If a friend confides in you about a struggle she is going through, you might provide some wise counsel to her that would support God’s words in the Bible. You may have experienced a similar situation in life and you could offer advice from your own experience.

“Counseling” or “therapy” as I am using the terms here is specifically NOT centered around advice-giving. While discernment is necessary, it is a different level of emotional discernment used by trained and licensed clinicians in mental health service delivery. Therapy offers a place for a person to work through an emotional problem for herself, with a trained guide who possesses skills such as Motivational Interviewing and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. An understanding of family systems and biological/psychological factors that influence our emotions is also a necessary skill. These factors along with spiritual wisdom and understanding are essential for providing mental health care and seeing the person in a holistic manner.

For comparison’s sake, let’s consider a scenario in which a person has a sore back. A close friend could perhaps give a basic back massage to ease the pain for the moment. But a physical therapist would have training and skills necessary to repair an injury. When anxiety, depression, trauma, Bipolar Disorder or other brain dysfunctions are present, godly advice simply will not provide the right kind of response. And in fact, it may do more harm than good as it often reinforces wrong ideas that make a person feel that their symptoms are a result of a lack of faith. I would argue that this type of response is actually not even godly advice at all as it creates wrong assumptions about God and illness. It is not based in spiritual or biological truth.

Can all pastors and godly followers of Jesus provide counsel? Assuming they possess wisdom demonstrated in the way they live their lives, yes. Can all pastors and godly followers of Jesus provide therapy for mental health problems? No. It is time for pastors and Christians to stop using these terms interchangeably so that people who need medical and psychological care can receive it freely with no stigma attached. And it is time for trained, licensed Christian counselors and therapists to actively provide these services where people seek them: in the Church.